Found out husband enjoying other women's company
I've had chronic migraines for about 20 years. I can't velcro myself to my husband, but while he "acts" supportive, I know he likes the company of "fun" women at his work and flirting (which I do not do much of anymore). I looked at his phone because things were getting weird, and found a message from a woman who "misses his smile and seeing him". I mean, we are 60 and 65, a little too old for this game. He has told me that I am no fun and sour since I have migraines. Half of me thinks my migraines started when he started working for his female millionaire boss as a "handyman" who is at her beck and call. My husband has missed important family events because of this woman, my yard is full of her horse manure because "it will make her happy to have it hauled away", so stupid, and I will say, he spent an entire summer working on her son's wedding venue, coming home very late ("because I would have a headache anyway so why come home"), and he literally has became a part of her family. Meanwhile, I took care of an alcoholic son, and our 2 daughters in college, and helped my son with a relationship breakup. I am still the default parent. At the millionaires son's wedding, the owner's son dedicated his wedding to all my husband's hard work and how he is a part of their family bla, bla, bla, in a flowery speech. When they started dueling pianos for entertainment, I said let's go, I won't be able to take this noise. He said he was going to stay. We are a couple that never (used to) socialize seperately. He got puking drunk. I had to pick him up at 2am. This is a man who will NEVER dance even a slow dance with me, but admitted he danced with his female boss. I know, silly at our age, but hurtful. I feel like he and our family would be better off without me. Now this woman is selling my husband a house way below market value so he will "my husband will have something to leave the kids", because I don't have anything to leave them. My daughter already has this woman's china in her cabinet (Mine is overflowing with my grandmas and I would have loved to give it to her!). I just don't come from money. I have always worked fulltime and made $80k a year. Am I wrong to feel hurt, or just feeling sorry for myself. I might overthink it when I'm lying there with nothing to do but have a migraine!
Lisa, I am heartbroken and worried for you. We have had many conversations here about the situation with your family, and how much you have been mistreated and put down. No, you are not wrong to feel hurt. You always have a right to your feelings.
None of us can tell you what to do. I would encourage you again to seek out counseling for yourself individually, as well as marital counseling if your spouse is open to it. You do not have to continue to accept this mistreatment, and you deserve an outlet, someone who can support you with professional tools in a way we can't.
Sending you a hug tonight. Migraine is not your fault, and you deserve to be believed and shown compassion. Keep doing the best you can, and try to remember that your worth is more than how much you accomplish or what people say about you. -Melissa, team memberHi
I just wanted to echo Melissa in saying how much my heart hurts for you. Your feelings are valid and understandable. You are managing a lot physically and emotionally and I too, would encourage you to reach out to a therapist to help you work through all you're going through and experiencing. They have the background and resources to help you navigate your feelings and to help you determine how you want to handle the situations you mention. You deserve support and compassion. Please know this community is here for you. Sending you gentle hugs. -- Warmly, Christine (Team Member)
